Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Me too to Manifest

Manifestos are passé. Vision document is the in thing. We have a President with a 2020 Vision so why should the politicians be behind?

After the Bharatiya Janata Party released its Vision Document, the Congress has followed up with its own. Who cares whether the document has any vision or not? Who cares if it is just a rehash of the manifesto?

It's all in the name, a rose will not smell as sweet if called lotus, Mr Shakespeare. Ask Sitaram Yechuri that. This is India and things are different during election time.

And India is holding its breath for more such documents and all eyes are on Bihar leader Laloo Prasad Yadav, Mayawati, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Jayalalitha and Mrs CHAMMO CHHABRA. The guessing game is on, fingers crossed. Here's a set of guesswork.

India needs night vision. Till you have bright lights, halogen lamps beaming all around the place like in Delhi, how are you going to get vision? Tell me. So I will strive to control production of electricity at large scale. I'll encourage use of traditional lighting methods like lanterns. Show me one person who got electrocuted by a lantern. I will show you hundreds of people electrocuted to death. The more people I save, the more votes I get.

India needs a foreign policy, which works for the interest of Bahujan Samaj, the dalits. I will snap all ties with United Kingdom because they are Manuwadi. They ruled the dalits of India for two hundred years in connivance with the Manuwadi Brahmins and upper castes here. And now they are taunting dalits in football by ManU. Bahujan Samaj Party will give ticket to David Beckham for leaving ManU and preferring Spain. Manuwadi Murdabad.

Housing, electricity and lack of entertainment are India's biggest problems. Only Samajwadi Party can solve these problems because only Samajwadi Party has the resources to do all that. Sahara would build City Homes so that people can move out of those tiny Indira and Vajpayee Awaas Yojana hutments. Reliance Energy would give power to the people and the Bachchan family with Jaya Prada would provide entertainment. If everything fails we have Amar Singh.

The All India Anna DMK understands the nations needs and will help the people fulfil their aspirations. So we'll jail Karunanidhi and his sons under POTA. If they get out on bail, we'll continue using POTA till we fulfil India's need. I am aware of the fears of the Central Government over the misuse of POTA but since I will fight the next elections with Congress, India need not worry.

My vision is 36-24-36. I am going slimming classes. If I lose 80 pounds I will be close to that figure. Then I will document it all and Montypraji will publish my book: HOW TO LOOSE WAIT IN 80 DAYS by Miss Chammo Chhabra. Book now, pay letter.