Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year Resolution

Avant News quotes Dr Quirk as saying:
"Don't make any resolutions this year. That should be your resolution. Whatever the damn thing is you want to get done, just do it without any hypocritical ceremonial champagne-lubricated fanfare. If you refuse to keep deceiving yourself, you might stop letting yourself be so easily deceived by other people. Trust me, you'll thank yourself in the long run."

I am gonna stick to what the doctor prescribed. Thanks doc.

Long Live King Kong

I watched King Kong recently. The benign beast is huge. There are some people who want to capture him or kill him. They fire at him, indiscriminately. Nothing happens. A bullet here and there is nothing more than a pinprick for the dude.

There's another King Kong I know. In 1992 and then even in 2003 they took a shot its stomach. On 13, December 2001 and again on Diwali eve this year, they tried to blow its heart. And just a couple of days ago, they tried to blow its brains out. It just flinched, eyes squinted a little, skipped a heartbeat maybe. But nothing more. New Year is around the corner. So it's already in the mood to party. Pricks notwithstanding.

In the movie, King Kong is finally captured when it's tricked to inhale chloroform. That knocks the dude out.

But the King Kong I know and live isn't easy to deceive. Parts of it do come under the influence of different disease-causing elements, but that too may not be for long, as it learns new things every time it's hurt. It may bleed here and there, once in a while, but it heals quickly. This King Kong can't be captured, forget killing it.

So all you pricks, bring 'em on, show us what you got. King Kong ain't scared.
Crossposted on IBN Blogs

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Agony Uncle: What's your problem?


When the big, bad guys have emotional problems, this is where they come to. If you have an emotional problem and don't know what to do, then email it to Agony Uncle. All you have to do is write Dear Agony Uncle in the subject, then your problem and then your nickname. And save it as draft. Because Agony Uncle is likely to pick mostly those that come from the big, bad guys. You are bad, but not bad enough.

Here are the three chosen letters picked today and Agony Uncle's tips to handle emotional stress. Exclusively on this blog.


Dear Aghani Ankle,
My wife was chief minister of a state and we, our 10 kids, and 200 cattle lived peacefully in the house plus the outhouse, my personal area. But after those ever-unsatisfied suckers voted my wife out, the new government is threatening to force me out of my outhouse. My and I have been stretching out stay. Should I stay put? Tell me fast na.

Aaloo Prasad, Patna

Dear Aaloo,
Anything rubbery, don't stretch it to the point it breaks. Out of the outhouse. Aur koi chaara nahin.



Dear Agony Uncle,
CNN-IBN has just exposed how the illegal constructions owned by Municipal Corporation of Delhi officers and politicians are standing tall even as a demolition drive bulldozes into the common man's illegal extensions. I want to change things, I can't see my own officials violating laws. But I am not politically powerful enough.

Leela Dikshit, Delhi

Dear Leela,
You must understand you can't change anything. But since this urge is taking a toll, here's a solution: Make it official. Rechristen the MCD the Most Corrupt Department.



Dear Agony Chacha,

Devi Chacha is asking us to stick to ideology and remove the shortcomings. And they insist on remote controlling my party and since we are attached with an umbilical cord, I don't know what do. Please help.

A.K. Ladvani

Dear AK,
Only just-borns have umbilical cords. You are 25. But take brother Devi's advice and remove your biggest shortcoming, which is sticking to RSS ideology. And if you get a grip on emote-control, remote control will not work.

Crossposted on IBN Blogs

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Kolkata celebrates Mithun's comeback, Mithunda says he's happy

Kolkata: Jubilant scenes broke out on the streets of Kolkata with delirious crowds streaming on to the streets to distribute sweets as news of Mithun Chakravborty's return to the cast of the next B. Subhash film spread like wildfire.

Having held up trains and set up road blocks for days in protest against Chakraborty's exclusion from the cast earlier this month, film buffs sprinkled 'gulal' on each other and shouted 'Mithun Chakraborty zindabad'.

A large number of people gathered before Mithun's home on the northern outskirts of the city, displaying the filmstar's posters and beating drums, as Christmas seemed to have descended a day in advance in the City of Joy.

Reacting to the news of his inclusion, Mithun Chakraborty said he was happy to have made a comeback and hoped that the film would do well at the box office.

"I am very happy to be back in the film just like any other actor in a similar situation," Mithun told newspersons at his residence in Ooty soon after being cast in the film.

He said he was yet to hear officially about his inclusion and received the "good news" from television. Asked whether he was going to be the lead hero, Mithun said, "I haven't heard anything of the sort. All I can say at this moment is that I am very happy".

Recalling that the last B. Subhash film had been declared a hit both in Uttarpada and Titagarh, he said "I hope we will all act well". Mithun refused to draw any comparison between now and his earlier return to Bollywood in 1996.

Jagmohan Dalmeinkala, the former FPAI president, today welcomed Mithun's inclusion while stating that undue pressure should not be put on Mithun. "In the first place, he should not have been dropped from cast despite acting reasonably well in Jallad Khooni. It is good that better sense has prevailed and casting directors realised their mistake and have corrected it," Dalmeinkala said.

"Mithun has a lot of acting left in him. I am confident he will be given his due chance and hope that undue pressure will not be put on him," said Dalmeinkala who is the president of the Film Association of Bengal (FAB).

Meanwhile his adversary, Bharat Pawar, the present Film Producers Association of India president, also threw his weight behind Mithun, saying the former action hero deserved a place in the film and that reports questioning his conduct were not true.

"It looks like that he is definitely the proper person who should be included [in the film]," Pawar told reporters minutes after the film's cast was named.

"What was appearing in the papers that he was not cooperating and his relationship with his colleagues was not good, I myself went to his senior colleagues, there is not a single complaint against him. And whatever reports appeared in the media is unfair on any actor and especially for the person who has got hits for Bollywood," he said.

Pawar had met Mithun last week in Delhi where the actor reportedly discussed his exclusion from the film.

Minutes after television channels beamed the news large crowds gathered at various pockets in the city to kickstart impromptu celebrations.

The local television channels, which had been beaming deabtes on Mithun's chances of returning to the film world for the last few days, started showing scenes of mirth and conducting 'vox pops'. From Shyambazar in the north to Naktala in the south, from Belaghata in the east to Garden Reach in the west, the joy on the faces of Mithun's fans was there for all to see.

Violent protests had broken out in Kolkata and other parts of West Bengal after Bollywood dance-action hero Mithun Chakraborty was dropped from the cast of the next B. Subhash film. The Film Producer's Association chief Bharat Pawar had later assured Mithunda that he would look into his case.

(All the quotes and events in the story are true. Both PTI and Edit+Find+Replace contributed to this report.)
Crossposted on IBN blogs.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Togayther, happily here after

Elton John has just married his long time partner David Furnish. Now his apartment is fully furnished. And twogether, they must be feeling the love tonight, with old lilting Mukesh melodies. Now playing: Bas yehi apradh main har baar kartaa huuN, Aadmi hoon aadmi se pyaar karta hoon.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Lose fat or lose the cheque

Air-India has asked its crew to lose weight or lose the job. And the estimated 10 per cent of its 1,600 cabin crew are overweight. S Venkat, Air India's general manager public relations, says: "We have a tolerance limit that cannot be exceeded," he said. "Imagine if crew members can't fasten their seat belts, how can they fly?" another Air-India spokesman, G Prasad Rao, said. Carrying every extra kilo adds to the weight of the plane.