Agony Uncle: What's your problem?

AGONY UNCLE

When the big, bad guys have emotional problems, this is where they come to. If you have an emotional problem and don't know what to do, then email it to Agony Uncle. All you have to do is write Dear Agony Uncle in the subject, then your problem and then your nickname. And save it as draft. Because Agony Uncle is likely to pick mostly those that come from the big, bad guys. You are bad, but not bad enough.


Here are the three chosen letters picked today and Agony Uncle's tips to handle emotional stress. Exclusively on this blog.



OUT OF THE OUTHOUSE


Dear Aghani Ankle,
My wife was chief minister of a state and we, our 10 kids, and 200 cattle lived peacefully in the house plus the outhouse, my personal area. But after those ever-unsatisfied suckers voted my wife out, the new government is threatening to force me out of my outhouse. My and I have been stretching out stay. Should I stay put? Tell me fast na.

Aaloo Prasad, Patna


Dear Aaloo,
Anything rubbery, don't stretch it to the point it breaks. Out of the outhouse. Aur koi chaara nahin.

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MAKE IT OFFICIAL

Dear Agony Uncle,
CNN-IBN has just exposed how the illegal constructions owned by Municipal Corporation of Delhi officers and politicians are standing tall even as a demolition drive bulldozes into the common man's illegal extensions. I want to change things, I can't see my own officials violating laws. But I am not politically powerful enough.

Leela Dikshit, Delhi


Dear Leela,
You must understand you can't change anything. But since this urge is taking a toll, here's a solution: Make it official. Rechristen the MCD the Most Corrupt Department.

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CUT THE CORD


Dear Agony Chacha,

Devi Chacha is asking us to stick to ideology and remove the shortcomings. And they insist on remote controlling my party and since we are attached with an umbilical cord, I don't know what do. Please help.


A.K. Ladvani

Dear AK,
Only just-borns have umbilical cords. You are 25. But take brother Devi's advice and remove your biggest shortcoming, which is sticking to RSS ideology. And if you get a grip on emote-control, remote control will not work.

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Crossposted on IBN Blogs