Monday, January 30, 2006

Mother, does it sound like a Pink Floyd Song?

Mother, do you think I should drop Mani?
Mother, must I include Ambika Soni?
Mother, do you think Shinde is Sushil enough?
Ooooowaa Mother, why is it so tough?
Mother, should I take Vayalar?
Mother, should age be a bar?
Mother, will the press grill me on the tainted Shibu Soren?
Ooooowaa, Mother should I retain foreign?

Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna make your Cabinet for you.
Momma's gonna decide on portfolios too.
Momma's gonna do it all at 10 Janpath
Momma knows every Congressman's worth
Momma's gonna keep the rule, the chair and the rein.
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna let you keep foreign.

Mother, do you think we should take Saifuddin Soz,
Mother, does it really matter where he goes?
Mother, I need help in external affairs
Mother, do you think E Ahamed really cares?
Mother, who's this old man called Antulay?
Ooooowaa Mother, do I have some say?

Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna bring in young Maken here.
Momma won't let Ms Dikshit get bigger.
Momma's gonna please good friend Lalu
Momma will elevate his friend Gupta too.
Momma's gonna pick Jairam on the way.
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, Anand Sharma will handle MEA

Mother, Santosh wants a Cabinet place,
Mother, Should Dinshaw be in this race?
Mother, There's an Oriya man called Sahu?
Mother, Andhra should get one in Pallam Raju
Mother, Ashwani I guess is from the Punjab,
Ooooowaa Mother, to pay Vasan, who do I rob?

Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna give Vasan independent charge
Momma won't let DMK get extra large.
Momma's gonna give one to Akhilesh Das
Momma will top that with an irritating boss
Momma's gonna give Bansal a place in finance
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, Let momma handle it, why're you getting tense

Mother, should we get NTR's daughter?
Mother, what all have you taught her?
Mother, Shouls Rahul Baba also be considered?
Mother, is my vision getting really blurred?
Mother, one man is totally shockingly Ready to buy,
Ooooowaa Mother, shall I sell a ministry to that guy?

Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma will handle that Purandareshwari
Momma will get her a seat in HRD.
Momma's gonna give old Arjun some break
Momma gives, so Momma will take
Momma's gonna decide whether to sell a seat
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, but you really gotta be a little discrete!

Mother, do you think Sibal's good enough,
For a Cabinet rank?
Mother, do you think I should just fill in,
What is blank?
Mother will Deora be too right,
Of the Centre?
Mother, will he become another
Mani Shankar Aiyar?
Mother, should I take Renuka out of tourism?
Mother, what if I am looking through the wrong prism?

Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna check out your Natwars for you.
Momma won't let anyone oily get through.
Momma's gonna scan every new man who's in.
Momma will always find out where they've been.
Momma's gonna keep Cabinet healthy and clean.
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me.

Mother, Can Pranab win us West Bengal?
Mother, Is Dasmunshi effective at all?
Mother you know we are going to polls
Mother can we plug all the holes
Mother do you think we need another Bong?
Mother does it sound like a Pink Floyd Song?
Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.

Momma's gonna will win Bengal anyway
Momma's gonna keep the Left at bay
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Momma knows it does sound like a Floyd song
Oooo Babe.
Oooo Babe.
Ooo Babe, of course, Left have ruled too long

Mother, what if you were wrong?

______________________________________________Crossposted on IBN Blogs.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Insurance company snubs Kumaraswamy, Left is still furious

In what could have wide-ranging political complications, insurance companies have refused to insure Hardanahalli Deve Gowda Kumaraswamy's term as chief minister of Karnataka, saying the risk was too high. This has poured a lot of cold water on the BJP's hopes that it would get a chance to rule Karnataka after all, not to forget the saffron party’s ambitions to have an insurance for its own term.

"How long will this government last, when the coalition of the likeminded parties did not last its term? Churchill said a week is a long time in politics, and here we are talking about 20 months," an official spokesperson of the Max Sun Life told reporters, unofficially.

"Besides, they should also know that insurance is a subject matter of solicitation. After all Conditions do apply," the spokesperson added.

Former Prime Minister H.D. Deve Gowda was however ecstatic, even though his son's insurance plans came to a naught.

Mr Deve Gowda has received an undisclosed sum, rumoured to be sixty million plus rupees, as part of the insurance claim after his son snapped the bond of loyalty.

After insurance companies started insuring highly risky Bollywood films, political insurance came into being with H.D. Deve Gowda insuring that his sons will be loyal to him. "If Jennifer Lopez's butt can be insured, why can't political loyalties be?" he had said then famously. Since blood is rumoured to be thicker than water, the insurance company was happy to insure that for a small premium.

But Deve Gowda couldn't ensure that his son remained loyal to him. Much water has flowed down the Cauvery since then. And Kumaraswamy has proved that the greed indeed is thicker than blood. And Deve Gowda can't thank his stars enough, as the huduga went, moolah came in.

There is no official reaction from the Congress leaders, who now have nothing to get insured.

The Left however has reacted quite strongly to reports that Kumaraswamy was refused insurance. "We have always opposed FDI in insurance sector, and we condemn the insurance company's refusal," Communist Part of Bhindibazaar national general secretary B.C. Bardhan told reporters in New Delhi. When told that he was backing Kumaraswamy in spite of Kumaraswamy shifting to the saffron side, Bardhan said, "We have always opposed the communal forces and FDI in insurance sector, and we condemn Kumaraswamy's change of sides and the insurance company's refusal."

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Son Song: Appaji, I Am Your True Huduga

You backed the Cong who became king
And you planted on us that Dharam Singh
The buffalo goes to man with the lathi
With Krishna trying to break our party
He played the flute, we did the dance
Like this we would've never got a chance
I tell you dad, they are playing a game
Appaji, I want to be the next SEE YAME

Oh humble farmer, you're a former PM
I am sure you don't wanna be the SEE YAME
You've sown seeds, with your own deeds
The tree has grown and to you it pleads
Leave your secular tag in my lovely lap
And see high in sky your son's wings flap
To glory, carrying forward your good fame
Appaji, I want to be the next SEE YAME

Only racists believe in caste and colour
I don't suffer fools, because fools suffer
I want to play and I wanna have some fun
You love the colour green and I love saffron
But I am your true son as you yourself said
You ditched Hegde, see dad, I am home-made
Your lost ground is what I want to reclaim
Appaji, I want to be the next SEE YAME

Kannadigas will know that I am a good fella
I bring Vokkaligas, Lingayats under one umbrella
And together we'll win term after term
This coalition will be a giant pachyderm
I will fulfill your dreams to the core
If you want I'll drive away IT from Bangalore
I will even change Brigade Road's name
Appaji, I want to be the next SEE YAME

I will change Mysore's name to Mysooru
And every eyesore will become eyesooru
Hardanahalli will become the state capital
Because living in Bangalore is a little dull
We are sons of the soil, we got mass base
We shall overvcome by Gowda's grace
You will be proud with your son at the helm
Appaji, I want to be the next SEE YAME!

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Law Minister Will Take His Own Course

Q ho gaya na! CNN-IBN's investigation has left the government and India's politics shaken and stirred. And in the rush to cover their collective behind, Congress leaders went to town saying things they did not know they were saying. Here's to simplify it all.


Abhishek Manu Singhvi says:
The law will take its own course.
He means:
The law Minister will take his own course.

Hans Raj Bharadwaj says:
There was no material evidence against Quattrocchi.
He meant:
The evidence against Quattrocchi is immaterial.

Ambika Soni says:
Sonia Gandhi was not told about it by the law ministry.
She means:
Sonia Gandhi told the law ministry about it.

Sonia Gandhi says:
She means
Congress says:
PM was kept in the dark.
He means:
PM is kept in the dark.

Manmohan Singh says:
Neither the freezing nor the unfreeezing was done under government's orders.
He means:
It was done under orders of someone above the government.

Sriprakash Jaiswal says:
No clean chit has been given to anyone in any case or against charge by the Law Minister.
He means:
The chit wasn't clean. It had things written on it. For example: please defreeze Mr Q's accounts.

CBI joint director A K Majumdar says:
This is purely a CBI decision and Crown Prosecution of London only communicates with CBI.
He means:
CBI stands for Central Blame-taking Institution. Please understand this, people.

Crossposted on
IBN Blogs.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

One flu over the....

Turkey has confirmed that a 13th Turkish is suffering from bird flu. Countries around the world are stocking up on Tamiflu, a bird flu vaccine, amid reports that the flu virus can mutate into a Tamiflu-resistant strain. An Indian company has acquired rights to produce Tamiflu.

In short, there's a worldwide war on bird flu. Or is it? To me it all looks like a virus that's spreading faster than one ever thought. No, not the flu virus, but the one that spreads panic.

A simple google News search gave 16,700 results for Bird flu in 0.25 seconds.
Here are some of them—

Another Bird Flu case found in Turkey
Bird flu symptoms often mild, research suggests
Spread of bird flu wider than imagined
Dozens In Japan May Have Mild Bird Flu
Boy is China's 8th bird flu case
Russia bracing for bird flu outbreak
Top bank plans for bird flu hitting half its workforce
European travel firms monitor bird flu impact
Ukraine confirms new bird flu cases in Crimea

Now consider the death toll: Over 70 people across Asia since 2003. Waah!

Japanese encephalitis killed about 3,000 children in and around a town called Gorakhpur in that period. I see no panic. That's the daily deathtoll in Iraq. Nobody's panicking. That's about a couple of massacres in India. Earthquakes and cyclones/tsunamis kill in tens of thousands now. Thousands die of AIDS in the world every day. If not bird flu, some virus else, but death will come in all shapes and sizes. And life will find a cure and bounce back.

It's nice to see awareness about an impending epidemic, but the panic endemic just flies over my head.

I am not a conspiracy theorist but this one smells like pharma giants' ways of creating a market for its product.

P.S. Pharma companies pay researchers to create panic. It's a fact of life. Pharma companies pay researchers to dismiss alternative medicine systems as faith-healing. Pharma companies are capable of creating a scare, so that morons start filling their medicine cabinets with some flu virus, that's as moronic.