Fear the Election Fever

Election fever is catching on and I’m scared to meet the few non-journalists friends I have. Non-journalists think you know everything. I dread going to the journalists ones too. Journalists think you know nothing. Both, I can assure you, are awful vibes.

Scene at a non-journo (NJ) party.

NJ1: So Kamlesh, who’s winning this time?
ME: I don’t know. Let us see how it goes. Abhi to election dates bhi announce nahin huye (We don’t even have the election dates yet).

NJ2 to NJ1: He must be knowing. These guys are insiders. (then addressing me) Will Vajpayeeji’s India Shining work? I think it’s a great idea to start the campaign on a positive note. What do you think?
ME: Oh yes. Positive is good. But it’s too early to talk about the results.

Mrs NJ3: I heard Sonia reads out her speeches from a paper written by somebody else in Roman script. How can we have a PM who doesn’t know the national language?
ME: Ummm… yeah! You are right… er.. wrong. I don’t know actually.
Mrs NJ3: Don’t tell me you don’t know her. You must be talking to her every day. Don’t worry I won’t tell any one about your connection.

Aren’t just three of them enough to make you feel unwell and excuse yourself out of the place?

The all-journalists party is no less tiresome.

J1: I think this India Shining campaign is brilliant. For the first time a government has taken the positive agenda. Not garibi hatao was negative. Amiri badhao is positive.

ME: There is… (interruption by J2)

J2: But don’t be fooled by the slogans. It’s the agenda that makes all the difference. And Hindutva is the real agenda, my friend.

ME: India…. (interruption by J3)

J3: It’s not too late for Sonia to go for the jugular. And mind you she is coming around.

ME: Sh…. (interruption by J1)

J1: Oh come on! She has no chance in hell. I was talking to Amar Singh the other day and what I could gather was that Samajwadi Party is not giving her any in UP… and when you don’t have UP… (Interrupted by J3)

J3: … you don’t have Lok Sabha.

J2: Agreed UP is the key boss. No UP, no PM.

ME: I think…

I give up.

P.S. It’s Election Time in US too and Democrat John Kerry is the rising son. Job loss has become a big issue and now even President George Bush is saying he could back the ban on outsourcing jobs to India. So what changed him? Fear of losing his job to some politician in Bangalore?