India refuses to apologise for Sonu Nigam

Canada has finally apologised for Celine Dion. In a carefully worded statement, the Canadian government has said, "We fully understand the titanic pain that went on and on for years, and we as a nation are sorry."

The United States has welcomed the apology but has objected to the use of the word "nation". Britain, a US ally, too welcomed the statement but asked Canada to apologise for Bryan Adams too, if Canada wants the world community to take it seriously.

India has refused to apologise for Sonu Nigam, saying it was an internal matter. "Since most of the world has not been subjected to Sonu, there is no need for an apology," the Prime Minister's Office said in New Delhi.

The US and the UK have pointed out that Sonu had enjoyed huge sales in their countries, thanks to a large number of NRIs there. But the Indian government said New Delhi would apologise to the NRIs when they come to India for the NRI meet scheduled later this year.

Come into my Bihar, Laloo tells Kate Moss

India's railway minister Laloo Prasad Yadav has asked British supermodel Kate Moss to join his party, Rashtriya Janata Dal, and campaign in Bihar. Kate Moss, who's nearly jobless, after being dropped by big brands like Chanel, Burberry and H&M, is said to be positively studying Mr Yadav's proposal.

But analysts in India are still struggling to understand the motive behind this move by Mr Yadav, who is credited to have invented maverick and shrewd.
But KaKiSi's World has sources really close to Mr Yadav. And we give you Top 3 reasons why Mr Yadav has made this offer to Moss.

1. Kate Moss is being investigated after a newspaper published photographs showing her snorting coke. She is said to be a habitual offender when it comes to drugs and sex. Rashtriya Janata Dal has many leaders who are habitual offenders when it comes to murder and robbery. Drugs and sex is no crime, but Mr Yadav's party has a good number of people charged with rape.
2. Kate Moss sounds, at least to a Bihari or Gujarati ear, like cat mouse. It's the game of cat and mouse that Mr Yadav has played many times with his voters, the law and who ever you can think of.
3. Mr Yadav thinks people will relate to her and call her Kate Mousi. And if Shabnam Mousi, a eunuch, can become an MLA, Kate Mousi surely can. A rolling stone gathers no moss, and a Moss after a roll of you know what may go for a roll in the hay and hey who minds that. Mr Yadav's brothers in law will not.

Bush declares war on Cuba as Lopez pounds Florida

President Bush ordered troops to move into Cuba, hours after a deadly hurricane hit Florida before moving towards Texas. No deaths were reported but damage has been extensive. Soon after the hurricane hit Florida, President Bush said the hurricane originated in Cuba, and the United States had evidence to prove the recent hurricanes were not caused by nature, but triggered by what he called Fidel Castro's rogue regime.

Weather of mass destruction
Reacting to the recent increased weather-related activities in the Gulf of Mexico, President Bush has also declared freak weather as "weapon of mass distraction." He said the United States will fight these people till it wins.

"There are weather systems in this world who wish to curtail our time honoured values of liberty, freedom and democracy. We will not stand for this act of terrorism. We will strike back with unrestrained force and the might of our military forces.

Osama says he did it
In a new twist to the US-Cuba standoff, the al-Qaeda terrorist organisation has claimed responsibility for Hurricane Lopez. In a taped messaged sent to the al-Jazeera channel, al-Qaeda's second-in-command Ayman al-Jawahiri said the tornado was launched from a ship off the Cuban coast to annihilate the infidels. He said the Cuban President Castro was not infidel, and al-Qaeda volunteers would go into Cuba to fight street battles, like they are doing in Iraq. The Al-Jazeera channel also showed terrorists practising hurricane launching at what looked like a terror camp in Afghanistan.

Britain arrests Qaeda man
Britain meanwhile has arrested a man who it suspects helped create the hurricane. Sheikh al-Rashid, a British citizen of Moroccan origin, had gone to Egypt for a course in meteorology. Scotland Yard claimed to have recovered a large number of books and maps about weather patterns.

India hints at Pakistani hand
Staying on this breaking news, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has said that India will be neutral. An Indian External Affairs Ministry spokesman said India has however passed on related intelligence to the Bush administration. He said Indian satellites have picked up images that show a laboratory in Pakistan making what is being claimed to be an Islamic tornado making plant. Pakistan has rejected India's claims. Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf said Pakistan is at the forefront in the war against terrorism.

Bush announces new austerity measures
President George W. Bush has announced to drop the W from his name, as part of the new austerity measures announced in the wake of the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. A White House statement said: "The President is setting an example by not using things that are not essential and cause only confusion."

It was confusion more than anything else that caused the delay in reaching relief to the people in New Orleans. President Bush thought France should step in as New Orleans was mostly French, while France does not believe sending troops to any foreign country, other than Africa.

President Bush has said there was an exit plan for troops deputed in New Orleans but vowed to not pull back until the enemy hurricane is defeated. "We will stay on. United States will not give in to these criminals," he told reporters in Washington.

He also said that the W will be rehabilitated once New Orleans folks are rehabilitated.

And finally, the song
(Black rapper singing with the weather map in background)

This is a story told through a map
And I don't mean it to sound like rap

This is the story of Mr Bush and Katrina
A saint called George and a lean, mean sinner

He will stay on and not pull back
And if the need be, he'll go out and attack

He won Baghdad, and Kabul by all means
but how can he win in New Orleans

He beat Saddam and crushed Taliban
he would crush hurricane if he can

They say in war all everything's fair
But a hurricane, oh dear St. Blair

Going to war is the option he'd love
He'll blame Cuba if Bush comes to shove

Flintoff accuses Indian of being a useless shooter

Ashes hero Andrew Flintoff has accused an Indian cricket fan of being a bad shooter. The England player was playing in Delhi when he was shot at, and apparently the bullet hit him but didn't do much.

"I felt something hit me and, looking down, saw pellets on the ground," Flintoff wrote in his book Being Freddie, extracts of which were published in the London Times. "You expect to have plastic bottles thrown at you when you are playing on the sub-continent, but you don’t expect to be shot."

And he goes on to accused the Delhi police of sweeping the shooting under the carpet. Read this.

Kiss mat, hum Hindu hain

Kiss and pay. An Israeli couple who got married on the banks of the Pushkar Lake paid Rs 500 each for sealing it with a kiss.

Alone and Selev, according to a Pushkar court, had 'committed an act of indecency' by kissing in public after their marriage.

"The Pushkar Purohit Sangh had lodged a complaint with the police on Sept 6 alleging them to have hurt Hindu sentiments by kissing each other infront of other devotees in a 'semi-naked condition' soon after the solemnisation of their marriage."

Police had registered a case against the couple under section 294 IPC and had arrested them who were later released on bail on personal bonds.

The couple in their written statement filed yesterday said that though they got married according to Hindu rituals they kissed each other as per their own culture. Stating that they were unaware that kissing in public place was 'prohibited in India', they denied that they were in a semi-naked condition at the time of marriage on Pushkar Ghat.

By the way Pushkar is a favourite tourist destination for Israelis. Other big favourite is Manali. And while we are at it, the Noida nightclub Elevate has more signs in Hebrew than in English. They want Israelis to make it their favourite.

Laughing to death

Don't we love the Aussies? I have had a good laugh or two watching those Foster's commercials: Australian for Beer. And I confess to have laughed at the sad news of two Australians dying while trying to laugh.

Australian police today said a second person had died after an apparent attempt to experiment with nitrous oxide, better known as laughing gas, as a recreational drug.

Police said four people were found unconscious in a car in Sydney's suburbs early Sunday after they had wound up the windows and opened a cylinder marked nitrous oxide in the boot. A 38-year-old man died on Sunday, and police said on Tuesday that a 23-year-old woman had also died last evening.

Aiyar I go again

The inevitable has happened. And I regret the gas-guzzler I bought to replace my old fuel-friendly gaddi.
Hurricane Katrina hitting the US' gulf coast gave the government an excuse to hike the prices here as crude oil has crossed the 70 dollar per barrel mark. But that won't be enough to convince the Leftist allies of the government. It has never been.
The Bihar election is around the corner and Laloo run with the Left even if it hunts with the Congress.
Expect a powerful hurricane of soundbites on news TV.