Buns between runs vulgar? What about Venkaiah Naidu?

India’s Culture Taliban are up in arms again. Their shrill had been drowned in the cacophony of a fast-moving India that chose to ignore the boos of these buffoons.
The ancient culture-keeper Pramod Navalkar died. Pratibha Naithani could not beat Rakhi Sawant in live TV debates and got busy with her household chores. Life was beautiful, with no debates raging around Sherlyn Chopra’s redoubtable derriere.

But then a lightning struck, a storm whistled through this peaceful-yet-boring life heralding the arrival of the baap of Mano and Ranjan, two innocent looking boys suffering insufferable tongue-wagging and tongue-lashing targeted at their mother. The premier league of cricket is here and has brought with it the band of cheerleaders, who wear hot pants and tomtom pompoms.

These pompoms have given the breath of life to the idling culture Taliban of India. From the ultra-right Shiv Sena to ultra-left Marxists, the white buns of Washington Redskins have raised eyebrows all around. Politicians cutting across party lines have demanded a ban on the shaking buns between runs in cricket stadiums. Filmstar Shatrughan Sinha, whose stint in politics has been ludicrous and in government ridiculous, has already declared cheerleading to be against ancient Indian culture. CPM’s Subhas Chakraborty has announced that nothing of that sort would dance at the Eden.

Indian politicians — probably the world’s most obscene creatures — jumping up and down demanding a ban on cheerleaders is one of the most obscene things to happen to our culture. They have no idea about what vulgarity is.

On Transparency International’s bribery index, the world’s largest democracy is always bundled with countries ruled by greedy despots. One of our former Prime Ministers said that 85 per cent of the central funds meant for the poor is palmed off by political-bureaucratic middlemen. That ministers in central and state governments amass crores in no time is obscene. That the same politicians who ban bar dancers from earning a livelihood hire them for their political rallies and private soirees is obscene. That politicians who cry hoarse about naked legs in cricket stadia hobnob with gangsters in their naked game of greed is obscene. What happened in Subhash Chakravarty’s Nandigram or BJP’s Godhra and its aftermath was obscene. How Shiv Sena and Congress play with religious and regional sentiments of Marathis is obscene. Extreme poverty in the backyard of extreme luxury is obscene. Rape is obscene. Torture is obscene. Standing around doing nothing to stop these obscenities for over 60 years and then calling a press conference to ban cheerleaders is obscene.

IPL will be as exciting without the cheerleaders and fanfare. But the nakedness that runs deep in our system presided over by these culture Taliban will never let obscenity go out of Indian culture. We will never see the beauty of the game till vultures feed on the dead conscience of a nation once proud of its eternal principles.