Our Home Minister is so intelligent, he puts George Bush to shame

After 9/11, George Bush vowed that there would be no terrorist attack on the American soil, that terrorists would not be allowed to come and kill American citizens. So he sent thousands of American citizens to die elsewhere. In Iraq and Afghanistan. That's how intelligent he is. No single attack on American soil.

India’s sophisticated, suave and intelligent home minister Shivraj Patil has time and again proved that he possesses a great mind, almost twice the size of that of the President of United States, which by the way is the greatest democracy in the world. According to Patil, India, too is a democracy and not saamantshahi, which means feudalism. He said this in reference to Vasundhara Raje’s remarks that Patil had not helped the state in stopping the influx of illegal Bangladeshi immigrants.

Patil believes in the rule of the people, where they come from does not matter.
But his greatness does not lie in that truth. The truth of his greatness lies in his equal love for people from the other side of the border. Pakistanis are now sitting across the table with Indians in Islamabad to discuss Kashmir, militancy and Sarabjit Sngh. Singh has been on the death row there and India has been requesting Pakistan to not hang him because his is a case of mistaken identity.

Another man is on death row in India, convicted in the Parliament attack case. His hanging has been hanging in balance for many years now as Patil and his government battle imaginary ghosts of Muslim backlash. The presumption that Indian Muslims sympathise with a terrorist is an insult to the common Indian Muslim, but then Patil wouldn’t know that.

What Patil knows is gifting an ace to Islamabad after Indians thought all cards are open on the negotiation table. But now Patil’s faster-than-Intel processor brain has had a wave: If you insist on Afzal hanging, Sarabjit would die. Now no Indian wants Sarabjit to die. So he has killed three birds with one stone? Put India’s foreign minister Pranab Mukherjee in a spot in Islamabad, silenced those Indians who have been hankering for Afzal’s head and gave Pakistan a handle it was looking for in Sarabjit case.

“In Pakistan, we say don't hang Sarabjit and here we say hang Afzal?” thus spake the minister in bespoke bandhgala. If Sarabjit has to live, Afzal must not die.
Now people jealous of his ridiculously sharp mind are criticising the home minister’s linking of Sarabjit-Afzal hanging cases, saying he’s mad to compare apples with oranges.

How can they criticise the home minister here but not criticise the home minister of Pakistan? It’s such a simple thing they do not know, these BJP people and some newspapers including this newspaper.

So next time Indians demand the removal of Home Minister Shivraj Patil, they will also have to demand the removal of Pakistani home minister, who is also the Prime Minister, Yousuf Raza Gilani. Else, our eloquent and extremely sharp Home Minister Shivraj Patil will rebuke them with: “People are saying that remove the home minister here, and then they are saying why remove the home minister there... this is not fair,”