Al-qaeda behind Florida tornadoes

Recent successive deadly hurricanes that hit Florida have given momentum to speculation that God is trying to punish the state for the 'goddamned' chads that brought George W. Bush to White House.

The world may never be able to forget those chads, or perforated voting cards, whose bad behaviour led President Bush to lose and then win again by defeating Democrat Al Gore.

"Newton's third law says to every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. A calamity for a calamity. Tornado Ivan was a terrible natural calamity in reaction to the political calamity we have imposed on the world," Priest Kerry Tarcomed told reporters in Tampa, Florida. "Seems God hates us," he added.

White House was quick to reject such notions reiterating that God was on America's side in the war on terror.

"This is a totally preposterous claim, a canard spread by the Democrats," Republican Party spokesman Danny Coyle told a news conference. "As far as Newton's third law is concerned, we think the law department would be able to comment."

President George Bush has said that these hurricanes were caused by butterflies released by Al-Qaeda in the jungles of Indonesia.

"American will not give in to butterflies. We will take them on. We'll eliminate 'em one by one," he told a Republican Party fund-raising meet in Tampa, Florida.

"I was just reading this book by James Gleick. He's a proud American. He has done a lot of work on tornadoes and found out that butterflies cause tornadoes. When a bufferfly flaps its wing in Texas, it produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time this change develops into a tornado that devastates the Philippines. But what we see here is a tornado in Florida and not Texas. Texas is close to Florida and Indonesia is close to the Philippines. We know about Al-Qaeda's presence there. We are gonna ensure terrorism is defeated wherever it exists in whatever form," the President said.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair has said Britain will stand by the US in its war on Al-Qaeda butterflies. "We condemn terrorism in every form totally and absolutely and that includes larvae. "


*The Butterfly Effect or Chaos Theory and Newton's Third Law do exist. The rest is the author's figments of imagination with pigments of truth.