REBECCA DEVIN OR RABRINDER KAUR?

Lalu may rename wife to puncture Nitish’s Patna-to-Patliputra move!
Shakespeare not available for comment

Patna or Patliputra, Feb. 22: Railway Minister Lalu Prasad has decided to rename his wife and Bihar Opposition leader Rabri Devi. However, no decision has been taken on which of the three proposed names will be chosen: Rebecca Devin, Rubiina Begum or Rabrinder Kaur.

According to political analysts, Mr Prasad would take the wind out of Nitish Kumar’s move to rename Bihar capital Patna as Patliputra, the original name of the city. Though during Mr Prasad’s regime the city’s infrastructure did go back to the ancient times, historians are livid at the comparision.

“The roads in the ancient Patliputra were much better than what they are today. The only thing common is the cow on the road,” eminent historian Ramcharitra Rehman said.Lalu Prasad wants the Nitish government to change Patna’s name to Azeemabad, not Patliputra. This is seen as a move to cement his Muslim vote bank. The city was known as Azeemabad for a brief period during the Mughal rule.

“This is why we want Rabriji to become Rubiina Begum. This will show he can take radical decisions. He is rail minister and he changes a train’s name from Patna-Surat Express to Azeemabad-Surat Express. Bihar is in Nitish hands, so he can’t do anything. But Rabriji, he can convince, nahin? It will be the final proof that if he could he would rename things to make benefit the Muslim community,” said Anil Akela of the RJD, who is in favour of what he calls “furthering strengthening” the minority image of the party.

But Mukesh Madhur, Akela’s rival for the general-secretary post in Kankarbagh Koloni, prefers Rebecca. “See, we already enjoy Muslim support. We need a Christian name for Rabriji so that the other minority community does not feel alienated. Then we can think of Jewish, Sikh, Jain and Buddhist names for their children. His brother-in-law is Sadhu, and sadhus are Hindu anyway,” he told reporters at his office on Circular Road, renamed Janpath by Laluji’s brother-in-law Sadhu Yadav.

“By the way, how is Ming Wa Chung for a name? I am thinking I should also do it, there are six votes in a Chinese dentist family in our koloni,” he said.

But in the end, Patna Sahib (originally known as Patna City) may turn it all in favour of Rabrinder Kaur. “Patna City is Guru Gobind Singh’s birthplace and an important pilgrimage for Sikhs. And since Laluji is looking at Prime Ministership, he will get a good foothold in the north if he goes for a Sikh name. He already has Muslims in one pocket and khaini in the other. He just needs the Sikhs,” Sardar Jatinder Singh, the only first generation Sikh secretary in the party said. Earlier known as Jeetendra, he changed his name to Jatinder while working in the fields of Punjab.

But there is a catch: Rabriji’s is apparently not happy being treated like a train. To convince her, Laluji told her: “What is in a name, Sekspeerwa said once and I am telling you twice.” She rebuffed the move saying “Ghar mein bachche hain, aap thoda dheere bola karo yeh sab.” “Arre hum wo waala nahin, poet waala sekspeerwa bol rahe hain,” Laluji explained. He’s yet to get her nod, but Patna will soon become Patliputra because the ruling coalitions do what they please. Remember cities called Madras, Calcutta, Bangalore, Pondicherry, Bombay?