STREET DOGS UNITE AGAINST BUDGET '07

The All-India Street Dog Association has decided to hold a mass movement against Palaniappan Chidambaram’s Budget 2007-2008, proposed in the Lok Sabha on Wednesday. “Bow Wow, Down with PC,” their president Moti barked aloud to over a 1,000 dogs assembled at Jantar Mantar in the afternoon.

Earlier, in the Lok Sabha, Finance Minister Chidambaram had proposed that the duty on pet food be reduced to 20 per cent from 30 per cent. Pet dogs across the country were glued to the TV in their owners’ living room areas and were going wow-wow. Some went ahead and licked Mr Chidambaram on the cheek. Sushil Manchanda’s latest plasma doesn’t exactly feel like chubby Chidambaram’s cheeks, Tojo went ahead risking his master’s ire.

“What on earth are you wagging your tail about? Did I ever get you any less imported food? I have spared nothing so that you have a good life. This 10 per cent is not going to make much difference. We spend at least five thousand bucks on your salon treatment every month,” Mr Manchanda told Tojo. Tojo apologetically snuggled up to the boss and said: “I know you care. But it’s nice to know that even the finance minister cares.” And tears of joy, salty with emotion, flowed down his cheeks.

Outside on the street, Bholu was shedding copious tears of sorrow. Licking his latest wound inflicted by the thousand-times cursed silver Santro, he looked up and said: “God, why did you save me from that Santro? To see this day?” And then he addressed the other resident dogs of that street. “The government discriminates against the poor, what happened to the promise of aam aadmi?”

Bholu, the president of the Gulmohar Park Road No. 3 Canine Resident Welfare Association, lives next to a tent made of plastic sheets. A woman named Sundari and her children live in that. Sundari does utensils in over six houses on the street, including the Manchandas. Her earnings have not increased in the last two years, but her pulse has been rising with the price of pulses. She has been cutting down on pulses in her own makeshift kitchen. With that cut, Bholu’s dinner has become irregular. Sundari’s two kids now clean off the plate. Bholu has to scour the bin for bones twice chewed, once by the Manchandas then by the Tojos.

Bholu and other Gulmohar Park Road No. 3 dogs have joined Moti’s morcha against the Budget. “We want prices of rice, pulses and milk to come down. People can’t afford to waste any food, how can they afford to throw some in our direction? Humans have started licking their plates clean like us. Instead of bringing down prices of essential commodities, this Budget is rubbing salt on our wounded guts. No more staying silent. We must have our day. We have always boycotted the Tojos of the world. We shall be more aggressive now. They aren’t dogs anyway. Their collars cost more than the per capita income of humans in this country. We will bark in front of parliament, we’ll howl in the central hall.”

“We will bark in front of MCD,” whimpered Puppy the pup.

“No MCD. They’ll trap and cut off your thingy. We don’t go near MCD, beta,” Puppy’s mother Lucy silenced him with a firm nudge. Then she looked towards the gathering and said: “Sorry. He’s young, you know. But I propose that we protest in front of Palaniappan’s house.”

The government however seemed unmoved. A party spokesperson said, “We have to take care of all dogs. Besides, pet dogs are genuine voters. A man is as much a dog’s pet as the dog is his. On the other hand, the street dogs are mostly illegal immigrants. They are barking up the wrong tree.”

“Barking up the wrong tree, eh? We will show them what we do to a tree,” Moti thundered lifting his hind right leg. Human anger often spills on to the streets. This time, the canine anger is spilling out of the streets and into the budget debate.