IITinker, therefore IIM: Joshi does it again

Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs) and Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) are two Indian brands that the world respects.

Graduate from any of these institutes are considered the best brains, across the globe. These graduates in fact go on to lead big multinational companies and are pioneers in their own fields. All of India minus one man is proud of them.

That one man is Murli Manohar Joshi, the HR Manager of India Inc. The Human Resources Development Minister canes the two institutions at every opportunity he gets.

Joshi, a not-so-distinguished professor of physics and a distinguished politician, wants to control IITs and IIMs. In spite of being Indian government enterprises, these institutions have remained somewhat autonomous.

He has met with fierce reactions from the institutes and their illustrious alumni. But the man is unstoppable. The latest is that he wants the IIMs to forget copying Western Marketing Mantras and follow the ancient Indian marketing style that made India sone ki chiriya.

Joshi is also predictable. Here are the suggestions he would put forward for IITs and IIMs at the functions he attends next.

IITs aren't moving
IITs are wasting crores of rupees on automobile research while our ancient texts have detailed simple, pollution-free ways of transport: bullock carts.

The bullocks eat grass and turn it into fertiliser, which helps grass to grow back to be eaten by the bullock again. If you leave their occasion wind-breaking aside, no form of gaseous pollution has been recorded. I have seen one car being revamped and relaunched six times in a year.

But the last technological advancement the bullock cart has gone through was in the last century. This is callous. If the IITs cannot take leverage from the inventions by our forefathers, they will end up working on machines developed by the West and the Far East.

IIMs are moving fast
IIMs need to revamp their Western management-inspired syllabus and do something that benefits India. The government had set up the IIMs with a view to develop tools and managers who can manage the country.

What they have ended up doing is producing managers for Western companies. To avoid brain drain, we have to train managers in Indian management only, people who have no use in say America.

We in India manage things. We manage government officers, we manage a place in the cricket team, we manage Common Admission Test papers, we manage everything. But these IIM graduates have no idea of our Indian managing techniques.

They need training from professors like Abdul Karim Telgi, who managed hundreds of police officers, and his company showed profits of Rs 30,000 crore in the last audit.